i’m in love with Obama

Filed Under acting, goings on, internal monologue | 1 Comment

I’ve got the Obama crazies. Today, I copied my friend Rie and bought this t-shirt:

~
Who knew an election shirt could be so cute? I wish I had thought of it earlier.
One more week…
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burned motive

Filed Under internal monologue, what's the meaning of the word | 1 Comment

motivation: noun: something that motivates; inducement; incentive

motivate: verb: to provide with a motive; incite; impel
motive: noun: the goal or object of a person’s actions

When lost, how does one find it, this motivation? I have never truly understood what it meant to feel unmotivated. I understood it mentally and imagined what it must feel like, but I had no idea that, for me, to feel unmotivated would feel like such an existential crisis.

burn-out: noun: fatigue, frustration, or apathy resulting from prolonged stress, overwork, or intense activity

Um…yes.

I woke up this morning with my alarm only to feel that a mini-migraine (you know, a headache with nausea) was pulsing in my head. I pressed snooze and endured the pain in my head without rising for some ibuprofen. Nine minutes later, my alarm indicated that it was really time to get up, but the headache felt worse. Again, snooze. Another nine minutes. Snooze number three. Now I was 27 minutes behind and I had no urgency to rise. Instead I turned the alarm off, rolled over and went back to sleep. I finally awoke again to find that it was 9:30am…and we all know that a work day starts earlier than that. I rose from the soft safety of my bed and made no effort to contact anyone from work. I calmly fed Marceau, poured a bowl of cereal and sat quietly.

Now, an hour later, here I am. I still haven’t alerted anyone at work that I may or may not be in or checked my blackberry to see if anyone needs anything. I still haven’t taken a shower or thought about what to wear today. I just cannot motivate myself to get going.

Burn-out? I would say so…

wide awake

Filed Under internal monologue | 2 Comments

It’s now 5am. I’ve been up since 4:15 consternating over everything. I am sick with anxiety.

And now I am going out for some food since I have absolutely nothing to eat to make me feel better.

Seriously, this is what it has come down to. Stress eating.
It’s bad, people, bad.
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some random thoughts

Filed Under internal monologue | 6 Comments

In keeping with my goal to post as often as I can (wish the intention of getting more interesting, or something), I am listing here some random thoughts that went through my head today…

1) Ever since I gave up my coke habit (coca-cola, ok?, jeez) at the end of last year and became more of a social or emergency coke drinker, every time I sip any of that sugary goodness it reminds me of McDonald’s French Fries. Seriously, I can smell them in my coke drink or something. I find this to be a strange association. And yet not really.

2) Ever since I decided to add this here narcissistic little blog to my Facebook profile I have wondered at how many “silent visitors” might stop by. And then I hoped they wouldn’t be silent, but rather, let me know they were here in some way. Like by commenting. And this thought led me to…

3) Ever since I joined Facebook I have been amazed and curious as to how I could’ve disliked high school so much when I find that I really like all the people from high school that I have Facebook befriended. Perhaps my feeling about my high school experience is askew?

4) I love going to see plays. I saw two plays last week (*this one*!!! and this one…) and I hope to see another one this weekend. And I want to go to concerts. I want to get out, out, out and about. Doing. Seeing. Hearing. Watching. And this thought led me to…

5) I should call the headshot photographer that Amanda recommends, get some new photos and then arrive at my old agency’s door and humbly tell them that I’m back in action. This scares me a lot. So. I. Should. Do it.

6) When I read The Alchemist a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t realize how much it was effecting me until now. I am trying to notice the omens.

End of Teleport journey into my head on a Tuesday.