beautiful dark mornings

Filed Under practice | 2 Comments

The cool thing about waking up very early in the Fall is that it’s still dark outside and all is quiet, except for the delicate mew of Marceau wanting his breakfast.

It’s time for the third yoga class in my new yoga ritual.

I am still in search of the right teacher. There was noone like Elsie {who I googled last night and found she is pregnant and has moved to Pittsburg ~ no!}. But getting myself to class is the first step: finding the perfect teacher for me will come with time and patience. For now, it’s about re-learning the basics.

Today’s intention for my practice: Do Less.

bright, early & gentle

Filed Under journal, practice | 1 Comment

Yesterday, in keeping with my goal, I woke up at 5:30am and went to a morning yoga class. Not only did I make it to yoga by 7am, but I made it out the door with my lunch in tow. This was day eight in my plan to create new habits.

The yoga teacher ended class by saying “Be gentle with yourself and others today”, so I took it to heart and did my best to remain gentle on the inside and out all day long. I love this notion of being gentle ~ instead of the usual empty offerings like “Don’t worry” or “Let it go”. Being gentle allowed for all kinds of emotions within it, yet reminded me to stay grounded and generous in the chaos.

I also had dinner with a dear friend and ex co-worker who probably epitomizes what it is to be gentle. Her wisdom and calm always has a way of making me feel better. I think she might be the best listener I’ve ever met ~ the kind of listener I strive to be. I really think listening is the best gift someone can give a friend. She listened to me for a long time and then asked me a question which allowed me to see things more clearly and which confirmed that my plan for change is the right thing to do.

So, because it has helped to keep me calm, I offer it to you also: Be gentle with yourself and others today.

sarah makes my skin crawl

Filed Under soap box | 3 Comments

Seriously. I really can’t stand her. You know, the “vplif”.

I get most of my information on politics from my smart boyfriend, who reads about everything news related on the web, literally…everything. And then he shares the important stuff with me. This saves me a lot of time.

Anyway, today, as we drove down to Laguna Beach to see Amanda, Mike, Nate, Danny and Rachel, he read an article off his iPhone {more on that later} about Sarah Palin giving a speech in Carson City, Nevada. As he was reading I got so agitated I had to tell him to stop. He chuckled and kept reading and I said, “No, seriously, please stop. I can’t listen to it anymore.”

I hope you agree that the President of the United States shouldn’t be “just like me” {which Sarah P. definitely is not}, but rather, should be the smartest fucking person in the room. An elite politician, yes. And if you don’t agree, then just know that I love you, but we probably shouldn’t discuss politics.

Anyway, as I step off my soap box now and attempt to keep this light and enjoyable, here is something that I love very, very much on this same subject…


~
Tina and Amy for President!
~

habitual behavior

Filed Under journal, practice, what's the meaning of the word | 2 Comments

A yoga teacher said to me, “It takes 30 days for something to become habitual”…

habit: noun: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary

This past week I have taken a few steps toward creating new habits. I’ve attempted both new practices in the past and failed, but because of my current, desperate need for change {Yes I Can}, I was more successful this week than ever before and I feel better today than I have in awhile.

First, after today, I will have only eaten five meals out this week! You may remember my many attempts at making meals at home in the past, only to last about a day and a half before caving in. I was seriously going to Starbucks every day for something in the morning, out around my office for lunch and then out for dinner ~ every day. As you can imagine, this is not only expensive, but it doesn’t always lend itself to healthy choices. Seven days down, only 23 to go before this becomes a regular part of my life. Hooray! I am anxious to compare my food budget this month to past months and see if it really does save me money. Fingers crossed.

Second, I am going to yoga. I am going to yoga. I am going to yoga. I joined the somewhat corporate style yoga studio, Yoga Works, against my initial resistance. My yogi friends warned me against it for it’s somewhat detached style of teaching yoga {meaning: lacking in the deeper spiritual side to a yoga practice}, but I went to a beginner class on Friday evening and found it to be restful and very helpful with proper alignment. I can feel a little detachment, but I decided I can go to a smaller, more traditional yoga studio once per week for my dose of the spiritual. What I need right now is actually to re-learn the proper poses and get adjusted when necessary. Once I have the foundation back in my body, then perhaps I can find a class with a deeper connection, but the new student special was too good to pass up: $30 for 2 weeks of unlimited class, a free consultation with a yoga advisor to help create a personalized yoga practice and a year’s subscription to Yoga Journal magazine. I sort of couldn’t resist, because I’m making a plan for change. I’m very excited and guess what!? I feel motivated to make my plan come true…

I am grateful for the words of support and wisdom ~ thank you. Namaste.

burned motive

Filed Under internal monologue, what's the meaning of the word | 1 Comment

motivation: noun: something that motivates; inducement; incentive

motivate: verb: to provide with a motive; incite; impel
motive: noun: the goal or object of a person’s actions

When lost, how does one find it, this motivation? I have never truly understood what it meant to feel unmotivated. I understood it mentally and imagined what it must feel like, but I had no idea that, for me, to feel unmotivated would feel like such an existential crisis.

burn-out: noun: fatigue, frustration, or apathy resulting from prolonged stress, overwork, or intense activity

Um…yes.

I woke up this morning with my alarm only to feel that a mini-migraine (you know, a headache with nausea) was pulsing in my head. I pressed snooze and endured the pain in my head without rising for some ibuprofen. Nine minutes later, my alarm indicated that it was really time to get up, but the headache felt worse. Again, snooze. Another nine minutes. Snooze number three. Now I was 27 minutes behind and I had no urgency to rise. Instead I turned the alarm off, rolled over and went back to sleep. I finally awoke again to find that it was 9:30am…and we all know that a work day starts earlier than that. I rose from the soft safety of my bed and made no effort to contact anyone from work. I calmly fed Marceau, poured a bowl of cereal and sat quietly.

Now, an hour later, here I am. I still haven’t alerted anyone at work that I may or may not be in or checked my blackberry to see if anyone needs anything. I still haven’t taken a shower or thought about what to wear today. I just cannot motivate myself to get going.

Burn-out? I would say so…

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