wide awake

Filed Under internal monologue | 2 Comments

insomnia It’s now 5am. I’ve been up since 4:15 consternating over everything. I am sick with anxiety.

And now I am going out for some food since I have absolutely nothing to eat to make me feel better.

Seriously, this is what it has come down to. Stress eating.
It’s bad, people, bad.
*

home is sweet

Filed Under goings on | 2 Comments

I am so happy to be home. I spent yesterday cleaning the house (ok, I only got to the bathroom and the kitchen, but it was enough to feel better). I also got all the files from my dinosaur laptop transferred over to the new laptop that R got me for my birthday. Finally, it doesn’t take 15 minutes for my computer to turn on and my another 5 to open an application. And the sound - well, it rocks. Thank you to my rad guy who intuited that I would never, ever buy myself a new laptop.

I have just five days now until I jump back on a plane to New York City. I will be there for 2 weeks to begin yet another training session…

At least in New York they have good theatre for me to discover and I know enough people to have a little social life!

under the white sheets fantastic

Filed Under goings on | Leave a Comment

I am still in Chicago. Just 4 more days to go. All I really want to do is hide right here…

bed

My head aches. My muscles are sore. My eyes are puffy. But…
I was successful yesterday! There will soon be 5 new teachers in the Chicago studio.

seat in the sand

Filed Under snapshots, travelin' moon | 6 Comments

I looked out my window.
I walked straight to the beach.
I took off my shoes and rolled up my jeans.
And I sat my ass down in the soft sand to stare out across Lake Michigan.
And right there, I found my calm. She was right next to me.
I then walked clear across the city to take in the moon over the river.

I happened to capture this in the following photos…
i looked out my window I walked straight to the beach
I took off my shoes and rolled up my jeans
And I say my ass down in the soft sand I stared out across Lake Michigan
And there sat my calm, right next to me As you can see, I spent the afternoon wandering around Chicago, which did wonders in the way of clearing my head of stress and anxiety and fear. It was a lovely afternoon spent all by myself…
*
*

on the road…again

Filed Under journal, travelin' moon | 2 Comments

I will be in Chicago from Sunday to Sunday this week…

I counted how many weeks I will be away coming up and it comes to 5 out of the next 11 weeks so far. I say “so far” because I sense there will be other travel in between. *sigh*

I had a terrible anxiety attack in the middle of the day on Friday which caused me to meltdown in the grass next to the Jack in the Box next to my work. I was rather beside myself, to say the least. I’ve hit a threshold of tolerance for certain things. But now…I am in the early stages of planning a lengthy getaway. This is going to be a getaway of many kinds, but most of all, a getaway to broaden my scope of things. My world has become too narrow and I need to challenge myself. I am excited to explore the possibilities that lay before me…

« go back — keep looking »