so happy, now, to be home

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After a long week of zooming all over the country (Monday - Wednesday in Chicago and then Friday - Monday morning in Lockeford, CA), I am so happy to be sitting on my couch with my kitty sleeping under my feet and the familiar smell of my candles wafting under my nose…

It’s good to get away and it’s good to come home!

That is all, for now.

my heart is crying on the inside tonight

Filed Under internal monologue | 1 Comment

tearsI understand now how parents feel when their children move out of the house. The empty nest.

My students are like my children. I nurture them, watch them grow, watch them come into themselves, gain confidence and autonomy. It’s such a beautiful journey to watch and I cherish it like I know I will cherish my own children’s life journeys, should I choose to have any.

One of my classes has been with me for way over a year. They’re a tight group; bonded and strong. Talented and full of spirit. Today I found out that 3 of them have decided to move into another class. Luckily, they all wrote me nice letters and explained their decision, thanked me for inspiring them, nurturing them and supporting them. I graciously wrote back and told them that a “new voice” is never a bad thing and while I will miss their presence terribly, I support their need for change.

But I’m so sad! It feels kind of ridiculous, actually, to feel so emotional about it, but I do.I was so surprised to hear they were moving on and while I tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt my feelings and that my ego wasn’t a little bruised, it does and it is. Letting go is never easy.

i’m wanna be a surfer girl

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sufergirl Romina and I want to go do this. She wants to go to Hawaii, I’d rather go to Costa Rica. I’m hoping to change her mind…
Either destination, we’re planning to go early next year. [URL=https://www2397.ssldomain.com/keleasurfspa/CostaRica/default.asp]Does anyone want to go with us[/url]? Girls only, sorry.

gosh, is it in the drinking water?

Filed Under internal monologue | 3 Comments

ringsSuddenly, all we hear is “When are you getting married?”

It comes in many different phrases:
“Are you getting married?”
“Are you going to marry her/him?”
“No marriage yet?”
“Has he proposed?”
“Are you/Is he going to propose?”
“You’re going to marry him/her, right?”
“Will you live together before you get married?”

And the list could go on, actually.

So, what I am wondering is, why all of a sudden? We’re hearing it once almost daily and have been for about a month. Just today, his Dad asked him about it and my building manager asked me.

My manager said to me, in his thick Russian accent, “Allison, hello! Are you proposed?” (Mind you, I haven’t seen him in a while.)

I replied that, no, I am not proposed. And he said, “You have good boyfriend?”

And I said yes, I do. To which he asked, “And he works?”

Well, yes, of course. So he said, “Well, then you must get married. He is the same age as you? (I nod) Well, then, you must get going. For kids. You can’t wait.”

I told him I needed five years. And he said, “NO! not five years. Oh no.”

At this I told him it was good to see him and went in for my leftover, Chinese food dinner.

So, why is it that you hit a certain length of time of being together and suddenly everyone assumes it’s right around the corner?

For those of you who are married, did you discuss the hard questions before you got engaged or after? What did you talk about? Why did you wait or not wait long into your relationship before you got engaged?

Tell, me what were the circumstances surrounding your engagement? What would you do the same and what would be different? I’m not talking about your wedding or the planning of it, I’m asking about the preparation you did for your marriage.

thoughts on hobbies

Filed Under goings on | 3 Comments

We’ve got to have them. Without hobbies, life is filled with a little too much work.

My problem is that I keep trying to make a career out of things that were once my hobby…

stageFirst, I fell in love with the theatre: acting, collaborating, plays, audiences, programs, the stage, costumes, rehearsals (Like, madly, deeply in love ~ a long, passionate affair). Then, years later, I tried to make it my job. That sucked. And sucked the joy right out of it for me.

More recently I fell in love with women’s movement. And then I made it my job. And I keep getting pulled more deeply into the job side of it. Less teaching, more admin. While this offers more security, it sucks the life out of me (sitting at a desk with work mounting and the bureaucracy that is unavoidable in corporate situations). And now I am left without any real hobbies just for fun.

So, since it didn’t really work out as my career, now I’ve decided to make acting my new hobby! It just goes to show that you can never really forget your first, true love…

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